


Escape the Moonlight

by Dolimir



Category: The Sentinel
Genre: Alternate Universe, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-05-14
Updated: 2011-05-14
Packaged: 2017-10-19 09:57:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,240
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/199598
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dolimir/pseuds/Dolimir
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is an AU of my 'Moonhunt' story. What if Blair was already (semi) established in his role as Alpha Guide of Cascade and Jim was the one reluctant to accept his destiny?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Escape the Moonlight

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Moonhunt](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/2720) by Dolimir. 



> Written for Arrow00, who won the bid for my Help_Japan donation. Arrow wanted a story where "Sentinels and Guides are known." She wanted Jim to be worn down and at the end of his rope before Blair finds him because she loves a crumpled Jim.
> 
> Thanks go to Etakyma, Runriggers and Spacepixell for taking the time out of their busy schedules to beta this puppy for me. However, I added almost a thousand words after their beta so they can't be held liable for any of my mistakes

“May I help you?”

The man in Blair’s doorway reeked of money, from his tailored wool overcoat to his Armani gloves. When his gaze met Blair’s, his lip curled a bit as if not quite believing that Blair had the audacity to speak to him.

“Yes, I’m here to see Professor Sandburg.” The man made no attempt to move any further into the office. “Would you be so kind as to run along and inform him that his two o’clock appointment is here and that I don’t appreciate being kept waiting?”

“Ah, you must be William Ellison. Please come in and have a seat.” Blair waved to the chairs in front of his desk, although he didn’t stand. While he had no intention of being purposefully rude, he also wasn’t going to try to ingratiate himself with Ellison either, not after such an inauspicious introduction.

William’s eyes widened in surprise. “You’re Professor Sandburg?”

Blair nodded once and graced him with a pleasant smile. “I am.”

“Blair Sandburg? Professor of Anthropology? Alpha Prime Guide of Cascade?”

“Well, technically, I can’t be considered an Alpha Prime as I am not currently serving as a guide, but I can’t seem to get anyone to acknowledge that fact. Be that as it may, to answer your question, yes, I am that Blair Sandburg.”

While Ellison didn’t quite stumble as he moved into the office, Blair could tell he had shaken the man composure.

“May I offer you some tea?” While Blair kept his face and voice neutral, he was starting to think maybe he should have gone with his first instinct and pretended to be a graduate student. He had a sinking feeling he wasn’t going to like the reason Ellison sought him out.

“No. Thank you.” William closed the door behind him, sat down and began pulling his gloves from his fingers. By the time they were off, he had his business face on once again. Blair watched him take in the room and had no doubt that William found it lacking.

“What may I do for you, Mr. Ellison?”

“I’m here about my son, Jimmy.”

Blair nodded, but said nothing.

“Jimmy is a sentinel. He was diagnosed at six months of age.”

“You make it sound like an illness, Mr. Ellison.” William’s attitude was beginning to grate on Blair’s nerves and he rubbed his forehead in an attempt to stave off the headache he knew would be manifesting itself shortly.

William shrugged. “At the age of ten, Jimmy witnessed the murder of his football coach and repressed his senses.”

Blair felt a swell of sympathy for the boy. No child, guardian or not, should have to deal with something so horrific. “What did the healers have to say about his repression?”

“I didn’t take him to a healer.”

“What?” Blair asked incredulously.

“I didn’t realize right away that he had repressed them. And by the time I did, he seemed like a perfectly healthy boy. If he didn’t want to deal with his senses, why make him?”

Blair shut his eyes, took a deep breath and counted to ten. The casual negligence with which William spoke was almost enough for Blair to throw the man out of his office. Almost. “A sentinel can’t repress his senses for any length of time without…”

William waved his gloves in his slightly clenched fist, silencing Blair. “He grew up a normal boy. Excellent athlete, great grades. He even joined the Army when he got out of college and became a Ranger.”

“As a normal?”

“Yes.”

Blair was speechless, his mind raced in a dozen different directions.

“You may have heard of him. His team went down in a helicopter crash in the jungles of Peru in 1988; only Jimmy survived. He spent eighteen months living with the Chopec Indians.” For the first time Blair heard something in William’s tone that suggested he might have been devastated had his son died.

Blair wracked his memory, but couldn’t remember such an incident being reported in the news. Of course, he would’ve been nineteen at the time and deep into his master thesis on enclosed societies. It had also been the year after his attempted murder and he had avoided all things sentinel until his thesis had been complete.

“There are some indications that he served as a sentinel to the tribe, but when he came back to the States, he repressed his senses once again.”

“Any idea why?”

“None.”

Blair could tell the man was lying, but decided to hold his tongue. William Ellison was in his office for a specific purpose and he would give the arrogant businessman a few more minutes to discover what the reason was before he decided whether or not to turn him over to the Tribunal overseeing the protection of sentinels. He inclined his head, indicating that Ellison should continue.

“Against my wishes, Jimmy joined the police force and became a detective. While his career has had some ups and downs, and despite the fact he worked alongside the cities’ guardians, he achieved a very respectable solve rate of his own. I believe he could run for police commissioner in a couple of years and win.”

“Okay.” Blair couldn’t tell by Ellison’s tone if he was proud of his son’s accomplishments or not.

“A month ago he was on a long term stake out in the Cascade Forest,” William said in an almost bored tone. “While the suspect ultimately got away, Jimmy was responsible for saving the lives of a dozen police officers by getting them out of an old barn before it blew up.” Before Blair could speak, he added, “He’s been in a fugue state ever since.”

“Surely, the doctors have realized by now that he’s a Sentinel and have dealt with his condition in the appropriate manner.”

William frowned. “Yes, the healers suspect that being isolated kicked his senses back up to sentinel levels, but none of their attempts have been able to pull him out of his zone.”

“I’m a Ph.D. doctor, Mr. Ellison, not a MD.”

Shrugging, William slapped his gloves into his open palm. “I am aware of your credentials, Mr. Sandburg.” He looked up, his gaze narrowing as it sought Blair’s. “I’m also aware that you have special gifts when it comes to dealing with sentinels. I’ve been told that in addition to being a guide that you’re a shaman as well. Isn’t it your sworn duty to look after the sentinels in your tribe?”

Blair found himself chuckling over Ellison’s audacity. “Oh, he’s part of the tribe now, is he?”

“I’ll pay you whatever it takes to get Jimmy normal again.”

“Normal?”

“Obviously, he can’t control his senses. There’s no point in making him suffer needlessly. He functions well as a normal.”

The uneasy feeling he had been harboring since Ellison started speaking flared into a deep anger. “I will not bring Jimmy out of his fugue state only for you to encourage him to repress his senses again, Mr. Ellison. If that is why you’re here, then I suggest you leave now.”

Ellison opened his mouth to speak, but Blair cut him off by getting to his feet and leaning over his desk. “Your son may have repressed his senses, but it sounds like he has still tried to fulfill his engrained destiny as a protector, despite your obvious disapproval.”

“You don’t know anything about me or my son,” Ellison said, anger rising in his voice.

“Perhaps not, but I can certainly put the clues together. Any father in the country would be proud to have a sentinel for a son. But your son’s senses interfered with the plans you had for him, didn’t they? And in an effort to appease you, he repressed them, although ultimately it sounds like he couldn’t deny who he was meant to be.”

“You have no right to judge me.” Ellison’s face turned red with rage.

Blair stalked around the desk and stood over the businessman. “That’s where you’re wrong, Mr. Ellison. I may not have sought my position as Cascade’s Prime, and God knows, I don’t use my authority very often, but I am invoking my rights now. Jim Ellison now belongs to me. I sever all ties...”

“You can’t do that!” Ellison jumped to his feet, trying to use his height to intimidate Blair.

“…between you and your son. I suggest you get yourself a good attorney, Mr. Ellison. The Tribunal will be contacting you shortly.”

“I’ll see you ruined,” Ellison threatened.

Blair slapped his chest with both hands. “Bring it.”

Ellison turned and stormed out of the office.

Blair flopped down into the chair Ellison had just vacated in order to control his trembling legs. He took several deep breaths and slowly released each one. When he was relatively calm, he dropped his head onto the desk and gently pounded it against the surface.

What had he done?

The Tribunal, of course, would be ecstatic when he told them about invoking his rights as Alpha. They had been trying for years to get him to take a more active role in the sentinel community. As an Alpha Guide, he had been endowed with the authority to do whatever he felt necessary to help the sentinels and/or guides of the city. He knew several people who would use the power to their advantage to secure their position in Cascade’s political machine. Blair just wanted to be left alone.

He didn’t want to be responsible for a sentinel. Hadn’t he been fighting his own destiny as a guide for years? Besides, he had too many duties as it was.

But then again, he couldn’t leave Jimmy to his father’s ministrations any longer either. He’d get Jimmy on his feet, then get him hooked up with a guide during the next Moonhunt. If things worked out well, it wouldn’t take longer than a week or so before things got back to normal.

*-*-*-*-*

Blair walked down the hospital corridor, nodding politely as people greeted him.

“Prime.”

“Sir.”

“Alpha.”

The reverent tones with which they spoke grated on his nerves, constantly reminding him of the deal he’d made in order to maintain his freedom. Two years earlier, when a rainstorm had clouded the night sky, he had been caught outside after a Moonhunt had accidently begun sooner than it should have. But instead of submitting, he had chosen to fight for his freedom. During the confrontation it had been discovered that unlike most guides, whose soul called out to a specific sentinel, his soul allegedly called out to everyone, making him a clan guide. But his history had prevented him from accepting his fate quietly. Instead, he chose to challenge the cities’ Alpha Sentinel, one Simon Banks.

Blair had gone to the university stadium intent on fighting for his freedom, but before the contest could begin a major earthquake had rocked Cascade. The sound wave preceding the earthquake had incapacitated all of the attending sentinels, nearly a thousand men, women and children. Knowing the city desperately needed its guardians, he organized the guides in the stadium and worked to bring the sentinels out of their zones. He hadn’t lost a single one, although several had been very hard to reach and even more difficult to pull back to reality.

Afterward, the media hailed him as a hero, although he certainly didn’t feel like one. He had worked hard over the years, trying to forgive the sentinel who had tried to kill him. Ultimately, it was the man who had saved him, the man who had become his mentor, who taught him about forgiveness and turning a negative incident into something positive. And while there was a part of him that would always wonder if he could have used the opportunity to leave Cascade forever, he knew he wasn’t the type of man to punish a group of people because of the actions of one person.

Because he had done the right thing, sentinels had a tendency to treat him with a veneration usually saved for royalty or divinity. But more importantly, they allowed him to go about his life unbound and un-harassed on the condition that he would act as a consultant.

It was an uneasy truce at best. Being a clan guide meant that if he wished, he could take his place as a leader in the Tribunal. At first, sentinels had sought him out, hoping to gain power for themselves by associating with him. Hell, he knew if he ever made the decision to guide one specific sentinel, that man or woman would automatically be thrust into the cities’ political hierarchy simply for who he was, reluctant as it may be. And despite the city pack agreement, he could feel the desire of practically every Sentinel he passed, knowing that each one of them believed they could be the one that turned him around, that would make him want to be a guide. But in order to keep his position at Rainier and maintain his own sanity, he learned to ignore the yearning directed toward him.

A thin, dark haired healer met him outside the appointed door.

“Alpha,” she greeted cheerfully.

Blair bit back his sigh. “Healer Diaz,” he acknowledged. “What can you tell me?”

“That William Ellison ought to be shot.”

“Okay, tell me something I don’t already agree with or know.” Blair started to turn toward the door, then stopped and turned back to the healer. “The Tribunal won’t actually shoot him, right?”

The doctor chuckled. “No, Alpha, they won’t actually shoot him, although they will do their best to make him miserable for the foreseeable future. He might be able to skate out of having to pay any sort of major fine, but his reputation in this city will be severely tarnished.”

“That I can live with.” He turned back to the observation port on the door. “So tell me about Jimmy.”

“Jim, sir. James Ellison. Age: thirty-two.”

“Thirty-two?”

“Yes, sir. Why?” she asked curiously.

“I’m sorry. It’s just the way his father spoke of him. I thought he’d be younger.”

“Most parents have a hard time dealing with their children growing older. It reminds them that they’re not as young as they used to be, by referring to their children as children...”

Blair snorted and nodded to let her know he understood.

“We believe that at the time of the explosion, Jim’s senses were wide open. As a sentinel, repressed or not, he was acting as a guardian and was probably trying to make sure that everyone had gotten out of the building safely.” Her tone indicated that she was proud of Ellison, which in an odd way made Blair feel better. James may not have grown up in the sentinel world, but the sentinels were certainly claiming him as one of their own.

“Makes sense.”

“The Mundane doctors--”

“Healer,” Blair said with a soft reprimand.

The healer looked only slightly chagrined. “The cities’ physicians, not realizing he was a sentinel, thought the best way to bring him out of his fugue state was to put him in isolation.”

“But his senses probably initially reactivated because of his isolation.”

“Exactly, so when he started to come out of his zone and the doctors came in to check him out, he was overwhelmed. After two or three rounds of this, they realized they were treating a sentinel and called us.” She sounded exasperated by the doctors’ incompetence.

“And now he won’t come out?”

“Exactly. We haven’t been able to do any sort of testing or measuring of his abilities because he’ll come up partially through the fugue but once he senses us, he goes back down again.”

“You mean he hasn’t come out completely at all?”

“Not enough for us to let him know that he’s safe.”

“But that means…”

“His senses, now that they’re free, are off the charts.”

Blair rubbed his hands over his face. Jim Ellison was a survivor, and right now, he was simply biding his time. He knew his body was physically safe and was simply waiting for the situation with his senses to be safe and/or manageable enough to emerge again. “I doubt he’s going to surface while he’s still here in the hospital.”

Healer Diaz nodded. “We’ve come to the same conclusion, which makes a rehabilitation center next to useless as well.”

Blair studied the man staring mindlessly out the hospital window. Jim had very classical features. Blair’s friend Amy would literally shriek in delight if she was ever given the opportunity to sculpt him. Jim had a handsome face, but even in a hospital robe, his appearance screamed cop. Jim Ellison looked like a man who could take care of himself and yet Blair sensed a vulnerability that was at odds with the confidence that seemed to radiate from his slouching body.

Blair knew there was really only one viable solution, although he wasn’t thrilled with it. “Can he be brought to me? At my home?”

The healer smiled proudly at him. “You’re taking responsibility for him then?”

Blair just barely held back the whimper. “Yeah, it appears I am.”

*-*-*-*-*-*

A team of sentinel rehabilitation specialists swarmed over Blair’s loft apartment like ants in a feeding frenzy. Blair had spent the afternoon clearing out the room under his stairs, careful not to use any cleaners that would aggravate Jim’s senses. The room now housed, what the healers were telling him were all of Jim Ellison’s possessions. Sentinels generally didn’t like clutter and Jim was no exception to the rule.

Once the loft had been given the final seal of approval, the healers brought Jim. Even though the healers had told Blair that Jim was mobile in his fugue state, it was still shocking to see the man move under his own volition. Jim’s chin was resting on his chest and he wasn’t looking where he was going; instead, he simply reacted to the gentle hand of the guide who accompanied him.

“Where would you like him, Alpha?” the guide asked with the same reverent tone usually used by the sentinels who addressed him.

“Let’s put him in his room for now. I want him to be surrounded by his things for a while. Maybe their familiarity will sink in a little and let him know he’s in a safe environment.”

The guide nodded.

“Would you like a day nurse to help you with--”

Blair shook his head. “His body responds to commands?”

“Yes. He’ll eat when told, relieve himself when positioned; basically he will follow simple commands.”

“Then no. We’ll be okay.”

The healer handed him a business card. “Please call us immediately if you change your mind.”

A few minutes later, Blair was alone in his apartment with a stranger. He rubbed his face with both of his hands then moved into the doorway of the spare bedroom. Jim was lying in the center of his bed, staring blankly at the ceiling.

“It’s safe to come out, Jim. I promise. I’m harmless. Nothing here is going to hurt you.”

Jim continued to stare at the ceiling.

*-*-*-*-*-*

Two days passed with seemingly no change in the reluctant sentinel. However, Blair felt as if Jim wasn’t hiding quite so deep. He didn’t know if it was wishful thinking or if maybe his shaman abilities were detecting Jim thinking about putting up his periscope again.

After putting Jim through his nightly ablutions, Blair sat on the edge of Jim’s bed. He knew Jim felt safe in his fugue state, but life wasn’t about being safe. Blair snort at the irony of that thought. He had known since he was five that he was destined to be a shaman. Once he believed he could merge his abilities with that of being a guide, but now he had no true desire to do so. He knew he would never be able to trust a sentinel that completely ever again.

Positioning himself at the head of Jim’s bed, with his back to the wall and his legs pressed to the left side of Jim’s body, Blair reached over and placed his hand over Jim’s heart then closed his eyes. He concentrated on his breathing and mentally went through the preparations to journey to the spirit realm.

When he opened his eyes, he was surprised to find himself in a blue-hued jungle; although upon reflection, Jim had spent eighteen months in Peru. Maybe the jungle was where Jim felt the safest. Knowing that all paths would eventually lead to the reluctant sentinel, Blair started walking, following a trail that was barely discernable to his eyes. While jungles were known for hosting a myriad of life forms, this jungle was absolutely silent. There were no birds in the trees or animals peeking up at him from behind bushes. There wasn’t even a hint of insect activity.

Blair could practically feel the jungle watching him. He moved forward slowly, but confidently, until at last he came across a tiny clearing. A large black panther snarled a warning at him.

“Hello, Jim.”

The panther growled, lowering itself as if getting ready to pounce.

Blair slowly sat on a fallen tree trunk just inside the clearing. “I know. A lot of strange things have been happening to you lately, things you don’t understand and can’t control, but I’m here to help you.”

The panther flattened its ears against its head and hissed angrily.

Blair moved his hands so that they were resting between his knees. “Yeah, I know you’re a tough guy, but you can’t hide in this jungle forever.”

He could practically hear the cat say ‘watch me.’

“I know about your senses.”

The cat released a long, low growl.

“You can’t deny them any longer, Jim. You’re no longer ten years old, trying to please your father. You are your own man now. You became a ranger on your own. You even became a cop, when this city already had plenty of guardians. I suspect that it’s because even though you’ve been denying your senses, you ultimately couldn’t deny your destiny.”

The panther yawned, which made Blair bite back a smile. Cats often yawned when presented with a situation they didn’t understand…as if trying to give themselves a few extra moments to process what they were witnessing.

“I’ve taken you out of the hospital. I know your senses were being overloaded there. You’re at my place, which is completely safe. Your father can’t use his influence to control your environment any longer. In fact, he can’t do anything to you anymore. I just thought you should know that.”

The cat yawned again.

Blair stood just as slowly as he had sat, mindfully to keep his arms by his sides so as not to appear threatening in anyway. “I’m not going to force you to do anything you don’t want to do, but I really think it’s time for you to come out. Besides, Plan B is to dress you up in an evening gown and to sell the pictures on eBay. Your choice, man. I’m just saying it’s in your best interest to return to reality.”

With that Blair turned and strode out the way he came.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*

The next morning when he awoke, Blair shuffled out of Jim’s room and into the kitchen. He fumbled for a coffee mug, sending a quick prayer of thanks up to the heavens for automatic coffee makers. He sighed happily after the first sip and rolled his head back and forth on his shoulders. He hated sleeping in a sitting position.

After taking a quicker second sip, he moved to the kitchen island and pulled a pot from the cupboard. While he wasn’t particularly thrilled with oatmeal, Jim didn’t seem to mind the hot cereal. The bland oats would definitely fill the sentinel’s empty stomach, and had the added benefit of not overwhelming his taste buds.

When he stood, he was shocked to find Jim standing in the doorway of his bedroom.

“Breakfast will be ready in ten minutes. That should give you enough time for a quick shower. The dark blue towel is yours. Oh, and be sure to use the white soap and not the green. Okay?”

Jim blinked at him once then moved toward the bathroom.

Blair swallowed hard. Was Jim still in his fugue state or was he finally waking up after a long sleep?

The bathroom door closed and Blair all but whooped for joy.

He then set about making breakfast.

*-*-*-*-*-*

Jim came out of the bathroom eleven minutes later looking alert and wholly human. He frowned at Blair, but moved slowly toward the table without being told. Blair noticed that his frown deepened ever-so-slightly when he looked at the glass of water beside his bowl.

“I’ll make you a deal.” Blair picked up the oatmeal pot and moved to the table, dividing the hot cereal between his bowl and Jim’s. “I’ll let you have one cup of coffee…if you promise not to drink it all at once.”

“Deal,” the sentinel said softly.

Blair nodded once to let Jim know he had heard him. He placed the pot in the sink and filled it with water, then moved to the refrigerator, pulled out a jug of milk and picked up two mugs of coffee from the counter. He noticed that Jim was studying the loft, no doubt trying to figure out where he was. The frown had eased somewhat from his face, but he didn’t seem overly relaxed either.

“I don’t work for your father.” He set Jim’s mug in front of him and placed the milk equidistant between their bowls.

He plopped onto his chair, then stretched his hand toward Jim. “Blair Sandburg.”

Jim eyed his hand suspiciously for a moment before he shook it. “James Ellison. Jim. But somehow I think you probably already know that.”

Blair grinned. “Yeah, I do.”

“If you don’t work for my father, then who are you and why am I here?”

Uncapping the jug, Blair poured some milk onto his cereal. “I guess you could say I’m a consultant of sorts. I have the ability to help sentinels gain control over their senses.”

Jim wrapped his hands around his coffee mug, but made no attempt to drink it. “So you’re a guide?”

“Well, I wouldn’t quite--”

“Wait! Sandburg?” Jim’s eyes widened as they met Blair’s. “You’re *the* guide; the one that defied the Tribunal. You were going to fight for your freedom instead of submitting to the sentinels, but ended up saving them after the earthquake.”

“Man, is there anyone in the state who hasn’t seen that damn news story?” Blair couldn’t quite prevent the whine that overtook his voice.

“I doubt it.” Jim stuck his spoon in his bowl then glanced quickly at the jug. “Why’d you do it?” he asked conversationally.

Blair pushed the milk toward Jim. “My life is here, man. I couldn’t just leave the city defenseless because most of the cities’ protectors were caught with their shields down.”

Jim raised an eyebrow.

Snickering, Blair shook his head. “Sorry, that did sound vaguely dirty.”

“And I’m with you because--” Jim asked quietly.

“Because it appears you’ve been repressing your senses for the majority of your life and they decided they’d had enough and whacked you upside the head. The doctors over at Mercy didn’t realize you were a sentinel and sort of pushed you over the edge. Once over, you decided to opossum until things quieted down a bit.”

Jim frowned for a moment as he studied Blair. His eyes widened again as recognition brightened his eyes. “You’re the wolf.”

“Pardon me?”

“I saw a wolf in my dreams who told me it was safe to come out.”

Blair hummed thoughtfully. “I suppose I was, although I’m surprised I didn’t manifest as myself.”

Jim took a bite of his oatmeal, lost in thought for a moment. “So what happens now?”

Blair smiled at him. “Now, my friend, we teach you control.”

“I’m not sure I want to be a sentinel.”

“I don’t think you have much of a choice, James. You either learn to control them or they will control you.”

“I don’t even know where to start.”

Blair’s smile got brighter. “That’s why I’m here. So tell me, what do you think about dials?”

*-*-*-*-*

While Jim wasn’t exactly enthusiastic about learning how to control his senses, he dutifully listened to everything Blair said and grudgingly ran through the exercises Blair taught him.

On the personal front, Blair happily discovered that Jim was an ideal house guest. He picked up after himself (probably more than Blair did), didn’t need constant entertainment and helped out with little chores around the loft. They meshed so well together that Blair sometimes thought they were dancing; never stepping on each other’s toes, but moving together like they had known each other for years instead of less than a month.

And while Jim always defaulted to grumpy sentinel when he was overwhelmed, he also had an incredibly wicked, if not subtle, sense of humor, which often left Blair breathless from laughter.

After a week, Blair felt like he had known Jim his entire life. Jim certainly provided more human contact than Blair was used to having. Other than his time spent at the University, most of his personal life was spent in self-imposed isolation because he didn’t want to tempt a sentinel beyond their ability to control themselves. He had truly forgotten what it was like to have a friend.

When he wasn’t teaching Jim to control his senses, they walked along the shore near his loft, watched sports on the television and debated every topic under the sun. While many of their views were often polar opposites of one another, Blair found their discussions refreshing.

So it surprised him how reluctant he was to finally broach the subject of Jim finding a guide. But as much fun as Jim was to have around, Blair knew he couldn’t bond with him. While an adult, Jim was too new to his senses to have to cope with other sentinels sniffing around his guide, and after years of repression Jim was, in many ways, more primal than the cities’ guardians.

And while Blair wanted to see Jim happy and functioning well, he knew the Tribunal would never allow him to ride-along in order to help Jim learn how to cope with his senses on the job. Blair knew the Tribunal considered him too valuable an asset to risk on the streets and if he was honest with himself, he knew he was something of a trouble magnet. The potential for trouble was astronomical. Even if he completely lost his mind and felt an uncontrollable urge to take on a newly discovered sentinel, he wasn’t willing to thrust Jim into Cascade’s dicey political scene.

No, Jim needed a guide.

Someone he could count on.

Someone who wanted to be a guide.

*-*-*-*-*-*

Jim paced back and forth beside the coffee table. “I don’t think I’m ready for this.”

Blair, who was sitting on the couch, looked up from his computer. “You are. That’s just your nerves talking.”

Jim raised his arms in frustration. “But I don’t have full control yet.”

“Which is why you need to participate in the Moonhunt,” Blair said in a calm voice. “Hundreds of people will be walking the streets tonight, offering themselves up as potential guides. All you have to do is find one you can connect with. You don’t even have to bond. You can take the time to get to know your potential guide without having to commit to anything right away. Once you have bonded, the two of you will be able to work toward total control.”

Jim sneered, reminding Blair of Jim’s spirit animal. “I don’t like it.”

“What’s not to like?”

“Going outside and chatting up strangers to see if they want to spend the rest of their lives helping me cope with these damn senses.”

“Jim--”

Jim raised his hand and Blair fell silent, but instead of saying anything Jim went back to pacing.

Blair watched the sentinel for several moments, although it was obvious that Jim was pointedly ignoring him. “It’s okay to be nervous,” Blair offered.

Jim snorted.

“I don’t suppose you could look at tonight’s excursion as an adventure.”

The quirk of Jim’s brow told Blair exactly what the sentinel thought of that suggestion.

“You’re not nervous about being transferred to Major Crimes, are you?”

Jim ran both of his hands over his short cropped hair and cupped the back of his head before he stopped and released a huff of annoyance. “I was a good detective without my senses.”

Blair closed his laptop and looked at his friend. “You don’t think your senses will help you with your police work?”

Jim sighed. “Of course, they will.”

Pushing his laptop to the side, Blair leaned forward. “Are you experiencing anxiety at the thought of working so closely with other sentinels?”

“No.”

“Then I’m not sure I under--”

“I’m going to be behind the curve again,” Jim said in a louder voice.

“What?” Blair leaned back against the couch.

“All my life I’ve defied expectations. As a normal, I was extraordinary.”

“And suddenly someone raised the expectation bar on you when you weren’t looking?”

Jim shrugged.

“I think I understand where you’re coming from, Jim. But you’re going to be around other sentinels. And while I’m not naïve enough to think there won’t be some competition, I have no doubt that you’ll meet and pass all expectations. Plus, ultimately, Cascade’s sentinels want you to succeed. They want you to be all you can be.”

“The last time I fell for that line I ended up with a shaved head and doing suicides for six weeks.”

Blair laughed and was gratified to see the corner of Jim’s mouth curl upward.

Jim started pacing again. Instead of pestering the sentinel with what would no doubt come across as hackneyed platitudes, Blair pulled his laptop back onto his lap and opened it.

“Why--”

Blinking, Blair looked up at Jim who was now standing by the chair which sat beside the couch. “Why what, Jim?”

Jim opened his mouth to speak, but hesitated for a moment before he seemed able to psyche himself up enough to ask the question on his mind. “Why do I have to embrace ‘who I am,’” Jim used his fingers to make air quotes, “while you get to deny who you are?”

“I don’t deny that I’m a guide, Jim. Hell, I don’t even deny that I have abilities that allow me to work with almost any sentinel in the city.”

“But you don’t embrace it either.”

Blair sighed. “No, I suppose I don’t.”

“And why’s that?”

“A truth for a truth?”

Jim studied him for a moment, then nodded.

Blair closed the laptop once again and placed it on the cushion beside him. “I was killed by a sentinel when I was seventeen.”

Jim collapsed onto the chair, his face draining of all color. “What?”

“Although I hadn’t gone through any sort of formal training, I was attempting to a guide a female sentinel. I thought we were in love, but she quickly became paranoid, saying that I was trying to ditch her for other sentinels. Of course, at the time, no one realized I had any sort of ability outside those of a normal guide or that I have a ‘soul’ that apparently calls out to everyone. Alex may have been unstable to start out with, but it turns out that her assertions were essentially true. Her over-possessiveness drove her to drown me in the main fountain at Harvard. Apparently, she decided to go the ‘if I can’t have you, no one can’ route. If Joseph hadn’t… Well, let’s just say that I’m understandably hesitant about tying myself down again.”

Jim leaned back against the chair and scrubbed his face with his hands. “Jesus, Blair.”

“It’s in the past, Jim. But I will admit that I have wondered from time to time if Alex was actually paranoid before we got together or if my abilities somehow conflicted with hers, making her more and more unstable the longer we were together? As you no doubt know, sentinels can be very protective of their guides. Some are even territorial. And what happens when you have someone like me, someone with a soul that specifically calls to sentinels? Yes, I have an ability to help the ones who are hurting. But where does that put ‘my’ sentinel, should I ever bond? It’s not fair to ask them to fight against centuries of engrained behavior just because I’m an oddity.”

Jim raised his head and frowned at Blair.

“You’re not an oddity, Jim. What’s odd about your situation is that you were born to the one man in the country who didn’t want a sentinel for a son.” Blair huffed once in amusement. “There are so many different careers he could have directed you into, but he chose not to do so. What’s worse is that he made you feel like your gifts were a curse. Being a sentinel doesn’t make you Superman, but it does give you an advantage in certain areas. Overall, however, you’re still human like the rest of us.”

Jim looked at Blair and ruefully shook his head. “How do you do that?”

“Do what?”

“Make everything better.”

Blair shrugged. “It’s my gift, I suppose.”

“Or your curse.”

“That too.”

Jim leaned back in his seat and studied his friend for a moment. “What would you do if you weren’t burdened with your so-called ‘gifts’?”

“What?” Blair frowned.

“If you could do anything you wanted, whenever you wanted.”

“Jim, I can’t--”

“Humor me, please.”

Blair leaned his head against the back of the couch and closed his eyes. “Once upon a time, I took a couple of archeology classes.”

“Yeah?” Jim prompted when Blair stopped.

“There’s a dig site on the Arizona/New Mexico border that has been left fallow, for lack of a better word, due to funding. I think I’d like to go down there and work the site. Not have to worry about,” Blair waved his hand around, “all this.” Opening his eyes, Blair blushed a bit for being so open about his answer. “It’s not that this isn’t rewarding--”

Jim waved him silent, then leaned forward with his elbows on his knees. “My truth? All my life I’ve had to deal with other people’s expectations. First, I had to be perceived as better than normal because I was an Ellison, then a football captain, then getting good grades in college, then climbing through the ranks in the military and then with the police. And I’m not saying I’m any different from anyone else on the planet, but now that my senses are back online there are all these expectations being ready to be heaped on me as soon as I have a guide. And…and I’m just…tired.”

Nodding, Blair gave Jim a sympathetic smile. “I hear you, man.”

“Do you, Blair? Do you hear me?”

Blair’s smile disappeared when he realized that Jim was trying to tell him something important and that somehow he was missing the point.

“What’s to prevent you from walking to your car and driving to Arizona right this minute?”

“You mean other than the Moonhunt about to take place?” he asked cheekily.

Jim frowned at him. “Yes, other than that.”

“I have obligations to my school…”

“Next week is summer break.”

Blair frowned. “There are meetings to attend--”

“Video conferencing and voice mail are wonderful things.”

“There’s being available to the guides of Cascade--”

“Again, voice mail, video chat, email….”

“Just what are you getting at, Jim?”

Jim leaned forward again. “I’m saying let’s blow this pop stand, Chief. Let’s take a couple of months to remember who we really are before we bow to the pressures of society.”

Blair smiled sadly at the reluctant sentinel. “I understand that you feel like you’re standing on a precipice here, Jim. But unfortunately, I jumped years ago. It’s too late to scale back up the cliff.”

Jim pushed himself out of his chair and knelt beside Blair’s legs. “No, it’s not, Blair. It really isn’t. We can do this…together.”

“You barely know me,” Blair whispered.

“A road trip would be a wonderful way to get to know each other.”

“I’m not going to bond with you, Jim.”

“I’m not asking you to.”

Blair looked at him skeptically.

“Well, if I’m in a zone, I’d appreciate a shake, but I’m asking as a friend and not as a sentinel trying to lure an unsuspecting guide into the desert.”

Blair laughed. “And what would you do while I’m playing in the sand?”

“Helping. Hell, I’d think a sentinel archeologist would be a tremendous asset, don’t you?”

Blair frowned a bit. “You’re serious.”

“As a heart attack.”

“Archeology is dirty work, Jim. Hot during the day, near freezing at night. Dusty as hell. I’m not sure it’s the best place for you to be while adjusting to living with your heightened senses.”

Jim smirked at him. “You mean, as opposed to being on the streets as a guardian and a cop in Washington’s most dangerous city?”

Blair shook his head ruefully. “Okay, point taken. Although I still think you’re trying to avoid taking a guide?”

“If I were to be one hundred percent honest with you, I guess I’d have to admit that you’re right. But you have to understand that I had my life all planned out. I was going to work a couple more years as a detective, then go for my Captaincy and run one of the departments until I retired. At which time, I was going to move to the Florida Keys where there’s nothing but sun, rum, surfing and fishing.”

Blair smirked at him.

“And now, there’s this other path I’m being shoved…” Jim paused. “Gently guided toward. It may be a great path. Hell, it may even make me incredibly happy, but for the first time in my life, I realize that I haven’t really ever chosen a path for myself. I want to know who Jim Ellison is. I mean, really know who he is…before I become a guardian. And I think that perhaps you feel the same way.”

Blair’s gaze flickered away from Jim’s face.

“I’m thinking you were going to travel the world and become one of the world’s most influential anthropologists before you got side tracked by a sentinel, and that situation escalated into something you were unable to disentangle yourself from.”

“Aren’t you trying to side track me, Jim?”

Jim grinned brilliantly at him. “Think of me as gently pushing you back onto your original path or at least a course fairly close to it.”

“And you don’t want to take me on as a guide?”

“I don’t want a guide. Period.”

“And you’re willing to play in the sand for a couple of months?”

“I would love to play in the sand with you, Blair Sandburg.”

Shaking his head, Blair released a nervous laugh. “I can’t believe I’m even considering this.”

Jim reached forward and took Blair’s hand in his own. “Come on in, Chief, the water’s fine.”

Blair worried his lower lip with his upper teeth for a moment, before he finally nodded. “Sure, what the hell.”

 

~~ End ~~


End file.
